2 posts tagged “dogs”

I have tried to post these several times, but my computer has locked up every time. So I am giving it one more shot- without the pictures that I managed to get uploaded- and if this doesn't work, I give up.

1. Many moons ago when I was a freshman at UNC-Chapel Hill, I had a dreaded early AM Spanish class. The fastest route to this class, halfway across campus from my dorm, was to cut through the arboretum. There were few, if any, people in the arb at that time of day. I realized after a week or two that I wasn't walking alone. A little brown squirrel had taken to "walking" me to class- leaping from tree to tree beside the path as I walked. I was even more amazed to realize that the little guy was walking me home after class as well. Being the nut that I am, I started talking to him as I walked. He'd occasionally chitter back at me- it was probably one of the best friendships I made there.

Well, one morning there was someone else in the arb. A guy was walking up the path toward me-not in a threatening way or anything- just walking towards the dorms. My little squirrel leapt from the tree and landed smack in the center of the sidewalk between us. We both stopped to see what was going to happen next. The guy looked at me as if to say WTF? Not sure what was happening, I just shrugged.

So he took a couple of steps to the left- so did the squirrel. Tried stepping to the right with the same results. Finally he said, 'screw it" and started to come past me. The squirrel jumped 4 feet straight up in the air, puffed his fur out, and let out a screech that could curl your hair! The guy shrieked and went careening off the path through the bushes trying to get away from it. My little furry friend chased him a few feet before coming back to me.

I stood there laughing my ass off. Chipper, as I finally named the little guy, looked at me for a minute, climbed back up into the trees, and proceeded up the path like nothing strange had occurred. When he realized that I hadn't moved yet, he came back, gave me a scolding chitter, and more or less herded me to class.

2. We had moved into a house with a big magnolia tree in the middle of our backyard. There was a squirrel that lived in the tree and was one of the sassiest little things you've ever seen. Scotty would sit in front of the backdoor and whine like crazy to be let out- the squirrel would be out there taunting him. I mean this thing would literally bend over and shake its tail at him.

So one of us would let Scotty out and he'd go tearing across the yard, barking his fool head off, and the squirrel would wait til the last minute and race up the tree. Scotty would bounce around under the branches, growling and waiting for him to come back down. Depending on the season, the squirrel would chunk magnolia pods down at him.

Anyway, one day the little beast was up to his usual tricks. I let Scotty out the back door just as my dad was pulling into the driveway, so he also got to witness what came next. As usual, the squirrel waited til Scotty was right on top of him before tearing up the tree. Only this time, it scampered out onto a branch that had been damaged during a hurricane. as the squirrel started dancing on the branch and chittering at Scotty, there was a loud crack. The branch fell out of the tree with the squirrel clinging to it and landed squarely on Scotty's back. (it was a small limb- probably about 2 feet long and as big around as my thumb) Scotty's feet went out from under him, spread-eagled, like something in a Tom & Jerry cartoon.

He lay there for a minute, stunned. The squirrel seemed to be paralyzed. Then Scotty slowly turned his head so that he was nose to nose with the squirrel. They looked at each other for a moment, the squirrel let out the rodent version of "EEEEEK!" and shot back up the tree with my silly dog woofing at him.

The whole thing probably only lasted a minute or so, but it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I was clinging to the door frame, laughing fit to kill. My dad was sitting on the hood of the car clutching his side, he was laughing so hard. Scotty shook himself and came over to be petted.

The squirrel left him alone for a few days after that. I think he was testing all the branches in the tree to make sure it didn't happen again!

Yet another email that I can't credit the originator for, but found too funny not to share!

1. Blaming your farts on me..... not funny... not funny at all!

2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooooooooooo what a proud moment for the top
of the food chain.

7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake
thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven't you noticed the fur?

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.