2 posts tagged “movies”

I am a complete wuss when it comes to horror movies. I like a few of them anyway, but it's hard for me to get through them. My favorites are the Friday the 13th & Halloween sagas.

Anyway, for me to get through a horror flick, I need a few things. Well, one thing- I need something to bury my face in and scream. My friends laugh at me, but I don't care- when it gets too gory, I just can't look. My former best friend and I used to stage movie marathons at her house on weekends. Her mom & little sister saved what they called my scream pillow, just for me to shriek into.

I'm apparently a fun date for this reason. Take me to a horror movie, boys, and I'll probably wind up in your lap with my face buried in your neck. I also tend to stick my fingers in my ears- seeing icky stuff doesn't bother me nearly as much as hearing it. Sounds stick around in my brain longer and I tend to imagine worse stuff than I see onscreen.

Anyway, one weekend Cassandra's mother & sister were gone for the night. She & I had watched wrestling and a couple of the Halloween movies, and were about halfway through an episode of Tales From the Crypt. I don't remember a lot about the episode other than it took place in a supposedly deserted house during a storm. It was actually storming where we were, too, which made it even more unnerving for me. The duplex apartment they lived in was surrounded by trees (which were whipping around in the wind, occasionally banging into the windows) and the neighbors on either side weren't home.

At the height of the show, just when the killer was about to strike, there was a loud crack and the power went out. (We later found out lightning had struck the transformer down the street.) Right as that happened, there was a terrific pounding on the door, like the TV killer was trying to break into the house. I start screaming like a banshee, Cass (also screaming) runs to the locked back door and tries to tear it open without unlocking it. Still screaming and unable to see, I tried to join her, only to trip over every conceivable piece of furniture in the living room before falling flat on my face on the kitchen floor.

The front door flies open-

Her mom & sister were standing there with my sort-of boyfriend. He'd dropped by to join us for the late show. (We WERE the late show) They had come home early due to the storm. The pounding was him, first attempting to scare us (boy did he ever succeed), then trying to get in because he thought something was wrong when we started screeching. (Yeah, my heart stopped beating, jerk!)

As mentioned in an earlier blog, my friend Cass & I used to get together and watch horror movies. We were also wrestling buddies- we went to just about every WCW show in NC from 1989-1993. It worked out nicely- I had a crush on Road Warrior Hawk, she liked Animal. I wanted Scott Steiner (before the steroids ate his brain); she had a thing for Rick.

Our birthdays were 3 days apart- hers was August 11th (she got stuck sharing with Hulk Hogan), mine is August 14th. (I got Bobby Eaton- hah!) WCW was doing a show in Charlotte on the 12th one year, so of course we had to be there.

It was a fun trip. We got a hotel room- brought our own co-birthday cake (aka my infamous, lethal rum cake) - and were ready to party. Some of the local boys had given us a number to call when we hit town, so we called them up.

Now, I had promised Cass we would go see the movie of her choice for her birthday. (You think I'd know better after she wanted us to go see Michael Bolton the year before....have I told that story yet?) Sure enough, a new Friday the 13th movie was out- guess what she wanted to see? So we rounded up a few of the boys and headed to the theater.

I should mention here that Cass had spent a great deal of time describing my reaction to horror movies to the boys who were dying laughing at me. I retaliated by imitating her "death dance"- this little move she would do when she sensed a character was about to get snuffed- but still got the worst of the ribbing. On the other hand, I got to sit between 2 hunks who were fine with the idea of me burrowing into them when I got freaked out.

So the plot of this one, besides Jason killing everyone in sight, is that Jason is actually blown to pieces by a bomb or something. He gets reincarnated when the doctor examining his remains does the grossest thing I've seen in one of these movies: he picks up the suddenly beating heart and eats it. The whole theater saw it coming- I had literally slid out of my seat and was crouched on the floor with both of the guys crouching over me, and a lot of the other moviegoers were covering their eyes and making sick noises. Then I realize I'm not alone on the floor- Cass is down there too!

This is the woman who normally drinks cherry soda, eats hot dogs/pizza/whatever during the sickest scenes in any movie we watch, and she's freaking out at this scene. I couldn't help it, I pulled an Eddie Murphy. (from one of his old stand-up routines) "Bitch, I paid $5 for you to see this movie; you better get up there and watch it!"

She never lived it down. And now the story is on the web for the world to see....hee hee.

Is president supposed to have an apostrophe there? I forget.....

Anywho,

Saturday night, we kept seeing some car company commercial that used “Hail to the Chief” as part of its background noise. Have you seen the movie “My Fellow Americans”? There’s a scene where the two former presidents are talking about how they kept themselves entertained and one of them mentions that he wrote his own lyrics to ‘Hail to the Chief’ and would sing it to himself whenever he heard the song. So guess what I’ve been singing for 3 days now?

“ Hail to the chief, cuz I’m the chief and I need hailing…..

Hail to the chief or I’ll have you bastards shot…..”